Simple people

Yesterday was one of the best days I've had in a while. I saw my acting "big brother" and we talked for about two hours straight. It's been a long time since I've seen him,and he's been through allot. But i noticed something about him that i never noticed before...he is one of the most forgiving people i know! Everything he says is positive. He never has a bad word to say about anybody. I'm generally a happy person, but i hold everything in. So in past years that has resulted in suicide attempts and allot of trips to the psychologist. And i hadn't thought about that in quite a while, then all this sudden my bro looked at me and said," I'm really glad that God didn't want you to die." I had never thought about it in that way. Ever. God didn't want me to die. I've been going to church since i was a wee babe. and pastor after pastor has said the same thing about God, Jesus, and the HS... it can be described in John 3:16 easily. but i get board with easy. But just hearing from someone that whole idea of "God actually thinks about you,and cares about you" made me literally start crying. This morning i woke up with a different view of who God is. After 5 years of going to a good church with good teachers it took a totall of 5 seconds for 1 guy to show me just what i misunderstood about God.

It's cause I'm a mute

Gone from happy
Back to broken.
Screaming the words
That are left unspoken.
Feel the strength of the distraught
Their hearts break
The laughter stops.
As solid memories fade away
Dark is the night and
Dark is the day.
With hands soft with water at the
Thought that was thought through after.
It's midnight
Damp and cold
You cannot hug the ones
You cannot hold.